THE BAGWAN HAS PERFECTED NAME DROPPING....zuki has a modest list

Good Morning Disciples of Tarradiddle,

The Bagged One has graciously condescended to address us regarding a topic very dear to his heart.  While name dropping is not unusual as most of us have had as David Letterman describes a “Brush with Greatness.”  However his list goes well beyond believable, into that dark place where many stories come from, but he has convinced me it’s true so enjoy:

The Bagwan says:

Celebrities come in all shapes and sizes. Some earned their fame by accomplishment, some are famous because of who they hang with and others are mysteriously famous just for being famous.

Because my travels took me to cities like New York and LA and because I was often afforded the luxury of flying first class, staying in nice hotels and wining and dining in the best spots I often spotted famous people. I didn’t seek them out, I just happened to notice them.

Whether it was relevant to the conversation or not, I might mention that I had sat next to Jack Nicholson on a plane or literally ran into Robert Redford at Beaver Creek. Zuki took offense at this calling it shameless name dropping. I don’t think it was “name dropping” per se, just a harmless bit of self-important reminiscing.

After a few years of this Zuki suggested that I make a list of all the celebrities I had encountered in my travels. I don’t know if he thought this would shut me up or he actually became intrigued by who was on the list. I have done this and the list now stands at 71 names which we should post sometime in the official Library of the Diatribe.

I think my entire list comes from the first category of celebrities who became famous because of personal accomplishment. In my dotage I have become fascinated with the other two categories: famous because of who you know and famous because you are famous. I don’t know if “fascinated” is the right word. Maybe I am more confused, amazed or just perplexed.

As a result of this new interest of mine, on my homepage I keep a box dedicated to the NY Post’s Page Six. It contains all the latest gossip, celebrity sightings and my favorite the Star Snaps of the day. In Star Snaps there will be 25 pictures taken by paparazzi on both coasts. These are candid photos of “celebrities” coming out of a restaurant, a gym or an AA meeting. If you are over 60 I will personally kiss your ass if you recognize more than 5 of these people on any given day. I assume most of you will get Paris Hilton, any Kardashian and a scowling Alec Baldwin. After that you’re going to have come up with a Shia LaBeouf, a Cara Delavingne or maybe even a Padma Lakshmi. If any of you name more than five I will meet you at the corner of Colfax and Broadway at high noon to present you with your winning smooch.

I was trying to think back in history if there are any examples of these faux celebrities. I came up with the 12 Apostles. Some of them went on to some measure of success on their own like Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John who did some writing. Peter ended up with a pretty good job and Judas was a pioneer in the area of motivational speaking. But the fact is that when Jesus was alive they were just famous for being hangers-on. Jesus was out there walking on water, feeding thousands with a few loaves and fishes, changing water into wine and these guys were getting the groupies.

Which reminds me of the old one about how you know that Jesus was Irish: he never married, never had a steady job, was always drinking with his buddies, lived with his parents till he was 30 and he thought his mother was a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.

Faith and begorrah!

Bagwan