Before we get into today’s piquancy I wanted to update those still curious about my vow of kindness. While 72 hours hardly proves a change in character I'd like to think I've held up reasonably well. I had a couple close calls while driving, but was able to check my urge to kill and run down a fat woman. She cut in front of me then had to slam on her brakes to keep from hitting the car in front of her! What a complete horse turd! Yet with veins still bulging I managed to back off and let it go and was surprised at how fast my blood pressure returned to a normal flow. I even gave the idiot riding his bike in the middle of the lane a pass. Instead of riding his ass pounding on the horn, I simply passed him and proffered a friendly gesture. Given this vow is for life it will be challenging to say the least. However, with Rutabaga's help, and the loving support from friends and family, I expect to be the nicest guy in North America.
Good Morning Sleuths,
You may remember soon after Dewey's closed its doors, the Bagwan asserted that the public closing was a ruse. The plan was to run off the old cheap patrons allowing them to build a younger, better dressed, upscale crowd willing to pay for amenities shall we say not seen on the menu. At first I wrote this off as the blathering of a bitter holy man bent on misery (ours mainly) and mischief. But that changed! I was on my way to play golf last Saturday and drove by Dewey's to see if it had burned down, when out of the corner of my eye I saw someone walk from behind the building and across the parking lot to the other defunct bar. I had a few extra minutes so I doubled back and parked under a tree and staked out the supposedly vacant building. It didn't take long when several well dressed couples walked from the upper parking lot to Dewey's back door! What the fuck! I had to leave but promised myself I'd return and investigate further.
After a dreadful round of golf, I said my good-byes and headed straight to Dewey's. The upper parking lot was full of Lexus, Mercedes, Lotus, and all manner of high-end cars. There was a make shift pathway lit with those mini-white Christmas lights leading from the garbage bins to the rear door. From the front of the building there was only a dim porch light above the main entrance and other than that there were no signs of life that could be detected from the street. Given I was still dressed in my shorts and twice the age of those coming and going, I preferred to observe from a distance. However, after another hour of the same, it was clear I needed to get inside to know what was going on.
I decided to take the direct approach and walk straight in no doubt catching everyone by surprise. As I walked in I immediately found myself standing in a narrow breeze-way with a large oak door at the end of it. It was locked so I knocked heavily and actually hurt my knuckles. Just like an old ‘Speak Easy’ a small sliding door opened up and a shadowy figure sounding very much like Poo asked me for a password. Not having any idea, I hesitated only a few seconds when the mini door slid shut. I followed the next couple (always couples) descending from the upper parking lot keeping just enough space as to not attract attention and followed them to the door. Fortunately the young woman thought it funny, and giggled out the word ‘Voodoo’ and gained entry. As the door opened I could hear Reggae music but seemed very quiet for a bar. They did a fantastic job of sound proofing because it became absolutely silent when the door shut behind them.
I once again knocked on the door (closed fist this time) confident I’d be let in. The sliding door opened and was again asked for a password. “Voodoo” I clearly stated, and once again the little door slid shut!
It’s obvious to me the Bagwan’s assessment is credible! Pure and simple age discrimination has to be at the bottom of this! I hid behind one of the trash bins until another couple walked by, and planned to rush the door next time it opened. Sure enough “Voodoo” was uttered and the solid oak door opened. I sprang into action (sort of) and wedged myself between the jam and the closing door shoving it back open knocking down the couple then falling down over them. I heard screams I think were from women and all activity stopped including the music. I was being stared at like I was the ‘Elephant Man.’ My eyes adjusted to the dim light, and saw Brad (former Dewey’s proprietor) dressed in a Tuxedo rush toward me. He helped me to my feet. “What the fuck is going on?” I snapped, and Brad grabbed me under my arm and started to walk me back outside explaining he’d tell me everything if I just went quietly. I agreed and we both went outside.
Evidently in a desperate attempt to pay the IRS $200K in back taxes Brad and Jaime opened an underground partner swap-meet. This explains why I only saw couples! He calculates as long as the place looks closed he has until the end of the year to come up with the money. For a flat fee of $200 per couple they’re escorted to one of ten review booths with a complementary bottle of ‘Chateau Platte Embankment.’ Each couple is given 30 minutes to look at the other couples and negotiate a swap if attracted. Brad says he’s been pulling in $5,000 to $6,000 per day! ALL CASH!
When I asked him why he wouldn’t let curmudgeons in, he stammered a little bit, but finally came out with it. “You and the others were beloved fixtures at Dewey’s but let’s face it; none of you are going to attract this kind of business.”
LOVE AND HAPPINESS....zuki replaces hate with a bit of hope
Good Morning Happy Happy Joy Joy,
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." - Mark Twain
I think most of you would agree that I tend to worry far too much about others than I do myself almost to a fault. Generally I offer advice whether solicited or not, just so those that need to hear it do. Call me crazy but that’s just the way I’m built. Over the years I've suggested to others that perhaps they need counseling or even be locked away in de-tox but never thought to heed my own advice. I don't know how I've become so magnanimous given the vengeful or cutting remarks lampooned through my heart, but I think holding in the anger and frustration is partially responsible for my declining health. Hate and its cousin anger held inside only serves to embitter the person wronged while the lampooner skips along oblivious to the damage done.
I had an opportunity to play live trivia with our core curmudgeon group formerly from Dewey's as part of "Western Welcome Week" an 82 year old Littleton, CO. tradition. It was for charity so I didn't mind too much that most of the questions were about 'Littlewood' and its humble origins. We were at the Platte River Grill on the outside patio enjoying the sun and slogging down cold beer. Given Colorado's ban on smoking the outside patio is the only place one is allowed to smoke so Buster, DeeDee's husband, fired up a cigar and began savoring the thick rich smoke. Within only a few minutes a fellow sitting a few tables downwind came up to Buster and asked him if he'd put his cigar out. He even offered to pay $20 for the courtesy. Had this happened to me I'd have told the guy to stick his twenty bucks up his ass and fired up a second cigar and leave it burning like it was incense. Instead I saw Buster put out the cigar and refuse the $20! I asked him why he was so willing to capitulate, and Buster said, "It was the way he asked me." As the trivia continued on, the man who asked for Buster's cooperation sent over a bucket of beers and later in dramatic fashion, the curmudgeons won the event receiving a $100 tab at the Platte River Bar n Grill! Is there such a thing as "Instant Karma?"
How have I become so angry? I clearly saw what happens when kindness and courteous behavior are practiced by two people with differing positions. It was a perfect example of how civilized rational people should behave, yet my first thought was one of vindictiveness. I'm convinced the years of being shit on plus the daily skewering on this forum has taken its toll. I've held it inside much too long and now the fuse is lit. Hopefully now that I've recognized the problem, I can put my arms around it and summon the courage to change before I lash out and seriously hurt someone or myself.
From now on I'm a changed man! Nothing but kindness and generosity from ole Zuki! I'm going to offer my hand in fellowship to the patrons at University in the hopes a civilized reasonable solution can be arrived at between cut throat-ers and the sharing answers trivia players. I'm positive we can work something out. I don't know about the two or three of you reading this disport but I feel better already!
"There is beauty all around, when there's love at home,
peace and plenty here abide, smiling face on every side,
oh the joy we find inside, when there's love at home."
THE INTEGRITY OF THE GAME.....curmudgeons invade university
Before we get into today’s nonsense, I’d like to post Bagwan’s favorite memory of Dewey’s:
My favorite memory was the time when we were all at our assigned posts when in walks maybe the best looking woman I have ever seen. She stands at the top of the stairs and surveys the whole length of the bar. Without hesitation she walks straight up to you and says, “Where have you been all my life big boy.” Within an hour you are pulling out of the parking lot in her black Mercedes 560 Coupe convertible headed to the 12,000 square foot mansion her ex gave her in the settlement. You proceed to spend the whole weekend with her indulging in sex acts you have only dreamed about --- a weekend of the best wine, drugs and sex God ever allowed one man to enjoy.
At least I think that was you or was it Robert the Retard?
Good Morning Warriors,
Thanks to all of you for your kind wishes and good luck finding a suitable replacement thoughts. I was overwhelmed to say the least. Now that we're almost a week removed from our collective tragedy, I think I can speak for most in that we've moved on. However, I'd almost forgotten how big a pain in the ass moving on is. Besides fitting in with a new crowd, there are new key chains, caps, beer glasses, foam fingers, and tee-shirts that must be acquired while trashing the defunct ones. But the adjustment I'm looking forward to is the 'showdown' brewing between the new 'cut-throat' trivia players and the assholes that must share answers. So far the two groups haven't clashed, but as sure as Poo poops in a basket there will be a reckoning! I imagine it will begin with good natured barbs being tossed back and forth, and then as more alcohol is consumed the exchanges will become increasingly more rebarbative and heated until someone gives. It won't be us! The curmudgeons will take over the bar and impose our will on the pretenders.
To be fair the Bagwan foresaw this happening several months ago when we first began to test the waters at University Sports Bar & Grill. He said, and I quote, "Oh my God! You'll end up spoiling those people's enjoyment and cause them to leave." I now see this happening, but don't feel one iota of guilt! We've given them fair warning and have even thumbed our noses at them when one defeats five/six. They've remained arrogant seemingly undeterred by these subtleties and now it's time to pay the piper!
In terms of war I think it’s safe to say God is on our side and like "Manifest Destiny" it is now our direction in life. "Amongst humans, the perceived need for domination often arises from the belief that either an ideology is so incompatible, or a resource is so scarce, as to threaten the fundamental existence of the one group experiencing the need to dominate the other group.” In other words; the integrity of the game!!
C'mon curmudgeons this is our 'Jihad' a call to arms, gird up your loins and prepare for battle for the time is nigh at hand to smite them down! Yes there will be casualties, and some of us may not return, but the cause is just and must see this through to the bitter end.
Just in case you were wondering where Elvis comes down on this, he can only be counted on to continue being a weasel, so he will be interred and chained to Phatt Ass’s thigh without his beloved telephone books for the duration. He will more than likely be prosecuted for treason and shot so he's of little consequence. Those that turn tail and run will be hunted down like dogs! To Arms! To Arms! To Arms!
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
zuki
31/08/2010 07:23
HAPPY B DAY LULA!! MORE SPOILED MILK FOR YOU!!!
ZUKI
23/08/2010 07:24
HAPPY B DAY KIMSTER!! NEVER EVER LOSE THE TOOL BELT!! LOVE YA
zuki
13/08/2010 13:45
Thanks AZZ, in some small way you were part of it...sort of....but thanks
AN UPDATE:
Good Morning Happy Happy Joy Joy,
Before we get into today’s nonsense, I’d like to post Bagwan’s favorite memory of Dewey’s: